Gone Viral
by SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot
Summary: Kurt and Blaine find two /very interesting/ videos involving them on the Internet one day. Here there be terrible sex puns.


**Here's my second Valentine's prompt, y'all! Jen (theworldhasshifted on Tumblr) asked for "Klaine doing a YDAD." If you don't know what that is, go on YouTube and look up "You Deserve a Drink." You should be able to follow along with this fic even if you don't, though, so no worries!**

* * *

Kurt was idly refreshing his YouTube homepage when he noticed that a video called "The Anderson-Hummel Hurri-KLAINE" was in his Recommended section. The thumbnail featured an attractive auburn-haired woman that he didn't recognize holding a truly humongous pint glass and crossing her eyes.

"Hey, B?" he called out, twisting his head back toward their bedroom from his spot on the couch. "C'mere for a sec."

"What's up, baby?" Blaine asked curiously, walking into the living room while tucking his burgundy polo shirt into his pants.

"Do you know this lady?" Kurt asked, pointing to the thumbnail image.

"Never seen her in my life," Blaine responded immediately, squinting at the screen. "Does that say Anderson-Hummel? As in us?"

"I think so," Kurt said. He scooted closer to Blaine, putting their thighs together and balancing his laptop on both their laps. "Wanna watch it?"

"Why not," Blaine said gamely, so Kurt clicked the video.

"Hi, and welcome to You Deserve a Drink! I'm Mamrie Hart," the woman – Mamrie, apparently – said, crossing one hand over her heart dramatically. Kurt gave her points for flair. "And who do I think most deserves a drink this week? It's America's gay sweethearts Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, everybody!" She gestured up, and a picture of them kissing on the Dalton staircase appeared.

"Wait, _what_?" Blaine choked out, shocked. Kurt turned to look at him and saw that the genuine surprise was just as apparent on Blaine's face as he thought it must be on his own.

"If you haven't seen the video yet – and why haven't you? – Kurt and Blaine are high school sweethearts from Lima, Ohio, who just got engaged. Blaine's ah-_dorable _proposal involved four show choirs, the place where he and Kurt first met, and his own rendition of 'All You Need Is Love.' I'll link it below so you can go see it and then promptly throw up some rainbows in happiness," the video continued.

Kurt quickly scrolled down to the info section to see a link titled "World's Cutest Proposal!" He paused their current video before opening the link in a new tab, seeing that it was posted on a channel called goldstarberry. "_Rachel_," he muttered angrily.

"But how did she get it recorded in the first place? I had everything choreographed perfectly," Blaine said. Kurt scrolled down to see "Thanks to Artie and the McKinley High School A/V Club for setting up cameras to capture this historic event!" in the info section.

"I'm gonna kill all of our friends," Kurt said, giving Blaine a serious look.

"Hey, maybe we'll get on _GMA _or something," Blaine said. Kurt would find his optimism annoying if his fiance wasn't the cutest man alive. "But let's go back to that first video."

Kurt closed their tab and hit play on the old video. "So in honor of Kurt and Blaine's Technicolor love, I'm making an Anderson-Hummel Hurri-Klaine!" Mamrie announced on-screen. "Here's what you're gonna need for this drink: light rum, dark rum, passion fruit juice, orange juice, lime juice, grenadine, simple syrup, and some oranges and cherries for garnishing!" She pointed at each ingredient like a game show announcer, long ponytail bouncing.

"Does she know we're not old enough to drink?" Kurt asked off-handedly.

Suddenly, the video jumped to her holding a finished drink. "So, as you may already know, the taller boy is Kurt Hummel," she said, enunciating his name clearly. "And, Lord, he's so attractive that I might just _squirt _and _come all _over my thighs."

Kurt almost flipped the laptop onto the ground. "Did she just make a sex pun about my name?" he spluttered as Blaine started crying with laughter next to him.

"Oh my God, that was priceless," Blaine snorted out. "Wait, crap, we're missing some of it, rewind it a little."

Kurt dragged the progress bar back a few seconds. "So what you're gonna do first is add about half a lime's worth of juice to a cocktail shaker full of ice," Mamrie narrated. "Then, you add your orange and passion fruit juices. The rule of thumb is about two parts of passion fruit to one part of orange juice, but really, do whatever you want. I don't give a sh-." The last word got bleeped, but Kurt could figure it out pretty easily.

"So she bleeps her curse words, but not her sex jokes?" he asked in amazement as the screen cut to her with a full beverage again.

"Thanks to goldstarberry's detailed tags on that video, I saw that Blaine's middle name is Devon," Mamrie began. "And after hearing him sing, all I wanted him to do was _dive in _between my legs, if you know what I'm saying."

This time it was Blaine's turn to freeze up and Kurt's to laugh himself silly. "What is it with you and attracting the ladies, B?" he giggled out.

"I think I might need therapy now," Blaine said quietly, dropping his head into his hands.

"Crap, we keep talking through the video!" Kurt said, taking them back to where they left off.

"Once all your juice is in, you add your equal parts of both rums," she instructed. "I'm adding a lot, because these boys found each other as teenagers while I'm going to end up cuddling with my dog and watching _The Bachelor _tonight." Mamrie glared angrily into the camera.

"She says that like we don't cuddle each other and watch _The Bachelor_," Blaine said, snickering lightly.

"Now you just shake it up!" Mamrie chirped, dancing around a bit with the shaker.

The screen cut away yet again, and Kurt and Blaine both groaned in anticipation. "So Kurt and Blaine were in show choir together in high school, as you may have guessed," she said. "One of these choirs – I shit you not – was called New Directions. I'm gonna let you make your own jokes about that one, guys, that's too fuckin' easy." Again, the curses were censored, but the boys got the idea.

"Wait, how is that easy?" Kurt asked, confused. Blaine gave him an incredulous stare.

"Baby. Say 'New Directions' really quickly," he coached.

"Nude- oh my _God_!" Kurt screeched as it clicked in his brain. "No wonder those other choirs always gave us weird looks."

"You were in that choir for almost three years, Kurt, how did you not get that?" Blaine asked, laughing. "I figured it out about ten seconds after you told me the name."

"Shut up and watch the video, Anderson," Kurt pouted. He felt Blaine lean over to press a kiss into his cheek as he brought them back to where they left off.

"Once you're done shaking, just strain your drink into a glass, garnish with your fruit slices, and enjoy!" Mamrie said, holding up her glass as if to make a toast before knocking back a sip. "Whoo!" she cheered after she swallowed, crossing her eyes. "That was fruity and delicious, much like one of my ex-boyfriends." Kurt and Blaine both snickered at that joke. "Now, the best part about YDAD is the built-in drinking game, so go make your delicious Anderson-Hummel Hurri-Klaine, rewatch this, and take a drink every time I make a _terrible _Kurt and Blaine pun. I'm off to go watch the porno version of their proposal, 'All You Need Is _Glove_.' Practice safe sex, kids!"

The screen went to black momentarily, causing Kurt and Blaine to let out a collective sigh of relief. Then, of course, the outtakes reel began.

"The other show choir these boys were in was The Warblers," Mamrie said. "That's funny, because my college singing group was The _Whore_-blers. We didn't use our throats only for music, if you get my drift." Kurt turned bright red at this, while Blaine had to stifle his giggles into his fist.

"Imagine Wes hearing that joke," he said once he had composed himself a bit.

"Oh God, his head would explode," Kurt responded, breaking into a fresh fit of giggles as the video ended.

"You know we can never let Santana find this video," Blaine said after a moment, looking sober.

"You mean _this _video?" Santana's voice rang out from the doorway as she entered the loft. She wiggled her phone at them, and Kurt could see that video paused on her screen. "Dani sent it to me after she saw the title. She watches that channel religiously."

"Oh no," Kurt said, panicked.

"Oh yes," Santana said gleefully. "I'm playing this video at your wedding reception, boys, and there's no way you'll be able to stop me." She practically skipped into her bedroom, and they could hear the video start up again once she was alone.

Kurt buried his head in Blaine's shoulder. "We're so screwed."

"We might need to elope," Blaine said, rubbing Kurt's back comfortingly.

"I'll start packing, you book us some plane tickets," Kurt said, only half joking.

"Even if you run, I'll find you, twinkerellas," Santana yelled. "I have my ways."

Kurt tried to asphyxiate himself in the couch cushions, but Blaine's strong hands pulled him upright. "C'mon, let's go cuddle in our bedroom," he said, standing up and gently pulling Kurt up as well. "Maybe we'll get lucky and she'll be so drunk at our wedding that she won't remember this." They walked into their bedroom holding hands.

Santana's "Not likely, Dapper Dan,"was the last thing they heard before Kurt got his white noise machine turned up and they settled down for a nap.


End file.
